Backing it in « What shall we then say…

I used to work at a local middle school–20+ years ago–as a lunch cashier. One day the secretary called the three of us cashiers in for a little meeting. She was pleased with our performance except that it was too good to be true. She noted that our figures always matched up.

It was part of our job to keep a tally of how many students got lunch with a ticket, how many paid cash, and any extra milks we sold. Well, when we would figure it all up, if we ended up with 80 cents over, we just put down another kid. If we were 80 cents short, we would take away one. If we had a dollar too much we figured we forgot to put down a kid and a milk. If we had a nickel or a dime too much, we left it, so we weren’t <i>always</i> perfect, just most of the time.

So we got called in and had our meeting. She said we must be ”backing it in.” After we found out what that meant, we admitted that we were indeed doing that. I bet we were right most of the time, too. Of course, there was a tray count going on, too. Perhaps, there were discrepancies we didn’t know about. We just had a way to see our mistakes and then we could correct them before anyone else even knew about them.

I wonder where I’m going with this…All these years I’ve had this little incident stored in my memory bank and it seems like once in a while there would be a situation where I would think “Aha, that’s ‘banking it in.’” Now I get a chance to put it in a blog and I don’t know if there is a profound message in there or not! I’m not remembering. Help!

Well, I will try to make a new one up. I think maybe, in my desire for acceptance beginning back in elementary school or perhaps even sooner, that I somehow thought I had to be ‘perfect.’ All the little ‘nickles and dimes’ that would have given me a personality I must have thought were unacceptable, so if there were too many or too few, I backed them in and ended up in my own little world, not credible to those around me.

Okay, well, this will be a work in progress. I’m satisfied that I did not get all the meaning out of this concept but that’s it for now. I would be very interested in what others might see.

shirley Says:

May 23, 2007 at 9:35 am

Why didn’t my italics work? Good thing I only put one in.

Holly Says:

May 25, 2007 at 10:31 am

I really like how you said, All the little ‘nickles and dimes’ that would have given me a personality I must have thought were unacceptable, so if there were too many or too few, I backed them in and ended up in my own little world, not credible to those around me. I have really done that, and thought that I need to be perfect to be accepted.

This may be a little off topic but it makes me think of this quote by Elder Maxwell, “Back then, in family, neighborhood, ward, and school life, we were all poor together, but we didn’t know it. We made room for each other to grow, to make dumb mistakes, to repent, and to begin to develop at least some spiritual reflexes. Today, some anxious parents seem to insist on constantly pulling up the daisies to see how the roots are doing.” (Ensign, May 2004, 44) It is so comforting to me to know that in fact that we are given time in this life to make mistakes and learn from them.

May 25, 2007 at 2:21 pm

Thanks Holly! I love that quote! Actually it fits very well with what I was trying to say. I really want to have that attitude towards others and myself–that we may have room to grow, make dumb mistakes, and repent. Very good!

Janet Says:

May 25, 2007 at 6:35 pm

Shirley,
I like the thought that the Jesus Christ is always backing it in for us if we will let Him. I listened to a talk a man gave about his wife trying to be her own savior, it got to the point that she almost lost her testimony and her marriage before she finally understood that even the best of us have times that we need the Savior to back it in for us. Isn’t the atonement wonderful!!!

When parents and spouses don’t understand that concept and put on the facade of perfection, unfortunate consequences can occur, parents then exercise unrighteous dominion to try to force perfection in their children and borrow strength inappropriately when the look of perfection is achieved, or they rescue when problem solving muscles need to be exercised just to maintain the facade.

I enjoyed hearing Sister Eyring’s daughter talk about how her mother never put up her children’s grade cards like the other mother’s did because she wanted them to know that she loved them rather than loved them because… I always told my kids that they were terrific and it’s not my fault. I also told them that if they got straight A’s and were not trying, we had a problem, and if they got an F and were trying their best…good job! That was my way of backing it in. I wanted them to know that they were children of a Heavenly Father that loved them imperfections and all.

I enjoyed your post.

Barbara Says:

May 25, 2007 at 8:15 pm

I really enjoyed reading that. Gave me quite a bit to think about. I’m sure enjoying your Blog. Good Job !

May 25, 2007 at 9:38 pm

Janet–The atonement! Would you believe I had not made that connection? I just knew that story had potential but Wow! I love it! Thank you so much. I’m just smiling away so here’s another one for good measure.