Holly wrote a post a couple nights ago, “Like a child at home.” I looked at it with her briefly after she sent it off and we both noticed “…I could really understood.” I said she could still edit it even though it had already been sent. She knew that of course, without me saying it, but she basically said, “No I’m just going to leave it for now.” I knew she was tired so I left it at that.
So yesterday morning, while Holly was at work, I thought I would comment on it. I liked the ideas she had expressed. As I spent some time with it, I started discovering multiple little errors that I hadn’t picked up on the night before. I thought, “Wow, she really was in a hurry or something.”
We had busy schedules yesterday and so it was around 9:00 p.m. before we were both home at the same time. It is usually pretty hard for me to point out someone’s mistakes including my own grown-up kids, but I got up my courage and asked her if I could give her a little constructive criticism on her post because I had noticed a need for some proofreading on some punctuation, capitalization, and so on. She smiled and said, “Sure.” I added, “There were a lot.”
I then said something to the effect that even though it’s been out there for a whole day for ‘the world’ to see, wouldn’t she like to just get it all fixed up? As we proceeded to my computer she said, “You can show me but I’m not going to change it because I need to learn to live with imperfections.” I could deal with that.
So we went through and had some good laughs, finding between 13 and 15 little ‘imperfections.’ It is a lesson for me to take to heart. I worry about my mistakes too much. There will be some in this. I do not know nearly all the writing rules there are. I’m just ‘playing by ear’ on a lot of this.
I told Holly my idea for this post and she somewhat apprehensively said, “Okay.” At least it’s a very small world of viewers we have. 
June 8, 2007 at 7:27 am
Shirley,
My brother-in-law used to send letters back with red ink corrections. No one wrote to my sister after getting a few of them back. I love when Ben and rikker get into some of their discussions because I learn something every time I read their comments. For a time, putting pen to paper was so painful to me that I just didn’t do it, even when I was counseled in blessings to do it. My letters were never mailed and journals were almost empty with pages torn out. I had a dictionary and a writer’s manual at my desk with lots of papers and lots of doodles, but few words. Unfortunately, I was so self-conscious that I didn’t put a lot of things on paper that I should have. Now I am playing catch up and if I make mistakes, and I make a lot of them, I post anyway. I write anyway. Let people criticize if they want to –everyone needs a hobby and some people love red ink. I prefer words from the heart and I think God does too.
I am so glad that Holly didn’t change anything in her post. I really enjoyed it, and I enjoyed your post too. It helped me understand just how far I’ve come. Thanks for sharing.
June 8, 2007 at 7:43 pm
Janet~I appreciate your comment. That is very surprising that you once had a hard time writing.
I, too, am glad that Holly took her stand and didn’t change anything. It has been interesting to me to see what I said and realize that I really felt that way. I can’t rationalize it away. It’s all spelled out in black and white.
I’m waiting and excited to see what will finally settle into my psyche!
June 9, 2007 at 8:06 am
Aha! Something just occurred to me minutes ago. I was reverting back to my old job at Beehive Clothing where I worked for six years or so as a quality auditor. I was among those who looked for skipped stitches, open seams, tight stitches, etc. It was my job to look for mistakes! I got paid for it!
June 9, 2007 at 5:30 pm
Shirley,
You’re fun. I’m looking forward to meeting you. Heather will be back in 11 days now so we will meet soon.
I’m glad that my computer puts little red squiggly lines under all my spelling mistakes before I click submit. Now if only it would do the same for grammar and punctuation.
June 9, 2007 at 5:32 pm
Well Shirley,
Talking about mistakes, I am still logged in as Heather. I just posted her blog updat that she emailed me. So Heather is Janet…just so you know.
June 10, 2007 at 10:44 am
Yea, Holly! I’m glad she kept it that way. Learning to live with imperfections is a good skill to acquire. Rarely in life do we get the chance to do anything perfectly, and when we can’t it usually causes anxiety and disappointment. Learning to deal with that makes for a happier person, I think. Personally, I have real difficulties with the cleanliness of my house. When I’m feeling the worst, I worry most about it all—dishes, laundry, toys, aah!!! But when I choose to live with it and accept it, I’m much more relaxed and happy. Thanks for the thoughts, all.
June 10, 2007 at 5:10 pm
I agree with all the responses to Living with Imperfections. My neighbor below me is so fussy about everything being spotless, and in it’s right place. But he is also not a very happy person a lot of the time. I have a stack of magazines and notebooks on the sofa that I need to read. But quite often, I would rather read things on the computer, so the magazines just keep getting higher and higher. But I am “happy” and don’t let it bother me. Time for being “neat as a pin” another day.
June 11, 2007 at 3:51 pm
Janet–alias Heather,
LOL! That’s exciting for you to have your daughter coming back soon. Yes, we’ll have to work out a time to get together soon. Cafe Rio is a good place to eat–I’m open to suggestions though. Yeh, I sometimes check my spelling by bringing up a Word document and typing it in so I can get the red squiggly lines–or not! Still need to learn more about the features that go along with these blogs.
Em, You’re right about living with imperfections being a good skill to acquire. I’ve learned it with some–or have I?
(That’s for Russell) I was just thinking of how many things exasperate me that I do–but I am a happy person most of the time so obviously I’ve learned to live with many imperfections. It seems like the ones that bother me the most are the ones that have to do with communication–knowing the right words to say or write–not really the technical details as much, notwithstanding the recent evidence to the contrary. 
Barbs, I assumed your neighbor was a lady until you said, ‘he.’ But guys can be that way alright, at least that one in *The Odd Couple* was. (I learned that asteriks can be used in place of italics or underlining and right now I can’t use my italics feature because I didn’t go online to make these comments.) Just wanted you all to know that.
Holly really got a kick out of your little phrase “neat as a pin.” She’d never heard it before.
June 11, 2007 at 8:17 pm
Hi, Yes my neighbor is a man. Joe is an Engineer and maybe that explains some of his neatness. He is a quiet neighbor though, so I will never complain. He also provides lots of beautiful flowers in the court-yard in front of his condo. I really enjoy them. He also sweeps all the leaves around the back entry way.. So being neat is a good quality too.. Just better not to be too fussy though about a little something being out of place. That was cute about Holly and neat as a pin.. Fun !!
June 11, 2007 at 8:45 pm
Wow, this one is popular! And all because of me
j/k!
Hey Mama, if you really figured out a way to make comments without going online, I’d be curious to know about it
I agree, it is so good and more pleasant to not be so picky and uptight, I just gotta do it more often.
I’ve enjoyed reading all your comments.
June 11, 2007 at 9:41 pm
Holly–Oops, I mean I didn’t log in ! And those HTML tags better work again. They didn’t that one time so I didn’t think they would again…but that was because I was logged in and the other easier feature was there to be used. So much to learn and keep straight!
August 3, 2007 at 8:26 am
Well, although late again, as with the other posts (except for the appendicitis one) I thought I’d chime in as well. I have long understood that the reason I spend so much time in my writing is for the same reason you do, Mom, because we are afraid of being misunderstood. Once again, that fear thing. Of course, my calling in the Church has given me the opportunity to work on that one!
August 6, 2007 at 1:31 pm
Ray~I’m glad you “chimed in.” I’m still thinking about “afraid of being misunderstood. “Do you really think that’s the reason? I think that might be a more noble reason for spending a long time writing than most of my reasons are. But I can’t quite tell what mine are. I don’t like it when it does end up sounding like something other than what I meant but more than that, I just want it to be intelligent and do someone some good. Witty is also good when I can do that. I don’t like it when I say obvious things which I especially do in talking because–aha! I don’t have the luxury of spending a couple hours on a couple of paragraphs. Hmm, maybe I’m trying too hard.
It seems like my ego is really involved in this matter of communication. I can make lots of mistakes in other things and they don’t even phase me but when I say or write something that just didn’t need to be said, I don’t like it one bit! Or if I say something offensive or stupid, that’s even worse but I really try not to do that. Well, there’s no substitute for experience or practice and that’s one of the reasons I like this blogging so much.
Yep, your calling and your job, too, I would think are giving you lots of experience with the spoken word and the written word. Bishop Black said a short time back that he figures the reason a Bishop is usually called for about five years is that it takes about a year to offend 20% of the people and after you’ve offended them all, it’s time to be released.
He’s so funny!
Thanks, Ray.