Well I thought that would be a suitable title. One reason right off the bat is to move down the last title “Numb is good.” I didn’t realize that was what got left there for about 21 days! Sorry! I did the follow-up dental visit yesterday and here I am doing a sortof follow-up post–but not on the dental visit–it’s a follow-up to not writing. I know that’s probably weird but it makes a little sense to me.

Why do I find it hard to write? I guess I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing and speaking. My ego is really involved in those two things. I guess it’s a pride thing. I can play the organ in front of a whole congregation of people and make some mistakes without feeling all that bad. I’d rather do really well but it’s okay if I don’t always get the right note. I can practice and get better at home without much trouble, too. Unfortunately, practicing speaking is not that easy. My brain just doesn’t get engaged if it’s just practice. It has to be the real thing.

Blogging is the real thing. But it is more like practice than being face to face with people. I know who my main readers are and I’m not scared of any of you but boy, it is sure hard to put a bunch of words together in a nicely done way! This is something I want to get good at! I don’t know if it’s a righteous desire or what but I feel driven! I think it probably comes from deciding when I was young in school that the ones who can ‘talk’ have it made. Still to this day I have great admiration for those who can say things well. I have been so benefited by what others say. It’s a noble desire to be able to inspire people. If it’s just for the glory, it’s not a good thing but I don’t think that’s what it’s all about for me now.

Well I’m determined to figure it out. I cannot spend an exorbitant amount of time each day–which becomes one of the reasons I don’t write more but I’m going to figure something out that I can work with to get this heartfelt desire accomplished. I’m thinking of the post that Holly wrote recently with the quote from Neal A. Maxwell: …”We made room for each other to grow, to make dumb mistakes, to repent…” I have to be able to make dumb mistakes and be okay with it. On that note I will end for today!