Real angels don’t need wings

Today my two little babysittees and I found some sheep to use for scripture stories. We already have two sets of toys designated for Daniel and the Lion’s den and Jonah and the whale. The little rubber whale had a big mouth but it was only partly open. I carefully cut his mouth to it’s full extent the other day so now he can actually swallow Jonah! He needs a lot of help to “vomit him out on dry ground” but it’s okay.

I used to think it wasn’t appropriate to have toys for scripture characters such as the little Book of Mormon figures that are sold in some stores. I felt like it trivialized the scriptures. I don’t feel that way any more. I really enjoy the times we get out the lions and four little wooden people along with an angel from one of our nativity sets and act out the stories. I got the angel out last year long before Christmas because we needed an angel to “shut the lions’ mouths” for Daniel’s story. I explained to Maddie that real angels don’t need wings.

One story I’m really looking forward to doing some day is Noah and the ark. That would be great fun! I’ve already got lots of animals that would work–we just need to find an ark! I suppose if I were really ambitious and creative we could make one. We could do that for the story. Hmmm, I’ll have to think about that some more.

 

Post postponed

Hi everybody–I just wrote a post about my harrowing teaching experience and I realized I didn’t have to post it right now because I didn’t feel satisfied with it.

I think I was too wordy and not fun at all. I just couldn’t put it out there as if I had to. Nobody says I have to. I know I haven’t been posting daily like I fully intended to do and I almost dread looking back at what I did say about posting every day. I thought of doing one about being a liar when I started up again.

Well at least I am doing one right now. I will repent and start over. I will not say that I am going to do one every day. Maybe I never did. I don’t remember exactly what I did say. Just forgive me, okay?

 

On being good enough

“To know what you think, write.” That’s not exactly a quote even though I wanted to set it off like that. Holly said something like that to me the other day. She had heard it from a history teacher. I thought how true that is. I’ve especially noticed when blogging, that once I start writing, I come up with things I hadn’t even thought of before.

So, there are a couple ideas that I want to delve into more and this seems like a way for me to find out where I’m coming from. I’m hoping it can be some self-therapy. If anyone else gets anything out of it that will just be a bonus.

I was talking with a couple of ladies on Saturday evening and the one said that we just need to forgive ourselves more. I’m thinking, I suppose so. No big deal. I’m good on forgiveness.Then the next morning I somehow connected that thought with the struggle I’d been having to get a lesson ready to teach this coming Sunday. I wondered why is it that even though I have a great subject–prayer–and lots of insights and examples from the scriptures, I feel like I can’t put it into words that will be good enough?

I wondered if the trauma that I felt as a kid at not having anything to say, being made fun of, embarassing myself in front of people, never feeling like I could talk like “normal” people–was still eating away at me and causing me to want to over-compensate. Could this be a forgiveness thing? Could it be that just doing okay was not even an option for me…with me? It gets pretty scarey when nothing I think of is good enough. Maybe I have never forgiven myself for being so shy and tongue-tied and being judged badly for it by others–peers. I really felt like a failure.

Well that was a few days ago and then another idea came kind of like this: How good do you have to be to be loved? You don’t have to be very good at all. “Love is not a measure of the one being loved but of the one doing the loving.” (Clark Swain in the March 1972 Ensign. I still have that article.)

It was a comforting thought. I think it led to the feeling of forgiving myself, for one thing. I also had the feeling that the pressure was really coming off of me, because it was my own self that was being so hard on me.

Well I could re-word some of this to be better but I have been on here longer than I meant to be. I think it has been therapeutic.

It is good enough. Happy New Year!

 

The do’s and don’t’s of teaching

I just wanted to see what I’d come up with off the top of my head. Then I will check in my teaching manuals and see what I missed or got wrong.

1. Do pray to have the Spirit. Don’t worry that you won’t.

2. Do remember that you have no known enemies in the audience.
Don’t imagine that you do.

3. Do guard against pride. Don’t seek for your own glory.

4. Do keep studying prayerfully. Don’t get distracted.

5. Do have confidence. Don’t panic!

6. Do feel love for the audience. Don’t be scared of them.

Okay. This is what I got from the Teaching Guidebook :

1. Seek the guidance of the Holy Ghost.

2. Pray often as you study and prepare.

3. Prayerfully study the scriptures.

4. Live the teachings of the gospel as completely as you can.

5. Be humble. Avoid the temptation to seek attention for yourself.

6. Love those you teach.

Hmm, #1, 3, 4, and 6 on top were pretty much right on with #1,2, 5, and 6 at the bottom. I do think I will take the time to read up on teaching, though, since I saw some other valuable suggestions in Teaching, No Greater Call. When my lesson got moved up a month, I thought I would postpone learning about teaching until after this first lesson. I have taught Primary before and even Relief Society about 30+ years ago but…yeh, I want learn what the church leaders have to say to me right now that will help.

 

How to cancel a prayer

Last night Holly and I were talking about the previous post and how she felt that sometimes she prayed too hard or worried so much about having the Spirit that it “cancelled the prayer.”

And then I thought of how it’s because of fear that I pray so hard to be inspired. Fear is the opposite of faith so how does that figure? It does sound like a formula for cancelling a prayer.

It’s kind of crazy because of course the Lord wants to bless us when we are speaking and teaching in church. Relax!

 

A sense of urgency

I thought I was going to teach a lesson in February. Well actually, it’s been moved up to the first week in January. Sometimes I feel “mildly terrified” (to quote Ben) when I think about it. I am definitely feeling a sense of urgency. I guess that is a good thing. When I worked in a store several years ago, my manager felt strongly about her employees having a sense of urgency. It has value at times.

So I will let that feeling stay and get to work!

Okay, now it’s probably been about a half hour since I tried to write something more. Well this is what I go through when I prepare a talk or lesson. I seem to get a panic attack and think that whatever I come up with won’t be good enough. Doing this blog is bringing it out right now. If I don’t come up with something profound, people will get scared for me and then I’ll get really scared and wonder what am I doing even thinking I can do this!

I don’t think one has to assume that they will be guided by the Spirit just at the time of presentation. Is it asking too much to be able to get some good ideas organized before the moment of truth? Doing this post feels like the real thing and so I’m getting a glimpse at what I might feel like when that Sunday comes.

I feel to lament that I could have had a whole month longer but I wanted to help my friend out and switch with her so she wouldn’t have to miss being with her niece or nephew who is getting baptized and confirmed that first Sunday in January.

Well here’s some scriptures from my scripture journal that I can mention tonight at least. This one is in the Doctrine & Covenants 88:64-65:

“Whatsoever ye ask the Father in my name it shall be given unto you, that is expedient for you; And if ye ask anything that is not expedient for you, it shall turn unto your condemnation.”

I’ve always thought that “expedient” meant “necessary.” According to the dictionary it means: “tending to promote some proposed or desired object.”
Synonyms for it are: “advisable, appropriate, desirable, advantageous, profitable.”

Those are good things. It is a good thing that what we ask will be given to us if it is appropriate, desirable, advantageous, etc. That is part one. Part two says that if we ask for what is not expedient, it will be to our condemnation. Couldn’t those prayers just not be answered and then it would all work out well? Maybe it is referring to being demanding about what we want and then we will get what we asked for and we will be sorry because it was not expedient , that is, advisable, desirable, etc.

I don’t know. Why did I pick this scripture to start with? Well it is important to have the attitude that whatever is the Lord’s will for us is of first importance. I am not demanding so I ought not to have to worry about this anyway. (Wow, it just occurred to me that I am sometimes desperate to have the Lord’s spirit with me, but maybe that’s not the same as demanding. I’ll have to think about that.)

One thing I think is really important, is getting lots of different aspects of prayer from the scriptures, combining them, and seeing the big perspective. I think there are lots of safeguards built into prayer. For one thing “prayer is the soul’s sincere desire, uttered or unexpressed.” I really love that concept.

Okay, well I need to be closing. I’m getting excited again. I know the Lord blesses us with his Spirit when the conditions are right. This is just preparatory work for the lesson. I’m okay.

 

A Christmas carol..or 50!

Before this busy Christmas day is over I must make a list of my favorite Christmas carols. I know it will be outdated, as in Christmas will be over, before anybody sees it probably but I would be sad if I didn’t do it anyway.

I’m not going to try to put them in order but I do want a count so here they go:

1. Jesu, Son Most Sweet and Dear–Words: Anonymous; Music: Colin Brumby; arranged by Jackson Berkey
2. As It Fell Upon A Night–English carol
3. Angel’s Carol–John Rutter
4. Candlelight Carol –John Rutter
5. In Dulci Jubilo–German carol (16th century)
6. We Three Kings of Orient Are–Words and music: John H. Hopkins
7. God Rest Ye Merry, Gentlemen–Traditonal English melody and words
8. Good King Wenceslas–Traditional
9. Away in a Manger–German folk song
11. What Child Is This?–Traditional English tune and words
12. The Holly and the Ivy–Old French melody
13. Lo, How a Rose–Anonymous (16th century)
14. Once in Royal David’s City–words: Cecil Francis Alexander; music: Henry J. Gauntlet
15. O Come, O Come Emmanuel–Traditional
16. While Shepherds Watched Their Flocks by Night–Words: Nahum Tate; Music: Yorkshire carol or George Frederick Handel
17. Here We Come A-Caroling–Traditional
18. I Wonder as I Wander–Words and music: John Jacob Niles
19. I Saw Three Ships–Traditional
20. As Lately We Watched–Traditional
21. The Friendly Beasts–Traditional
22. The Holly and the Ivy–Traditional
23. Good Christian Men, Rejoice–Words: John Mason Neale; Music: Traditional
24. The Coventry Carol–Traditional
25. Pat-A-Pan–Traditional
26. Bring a Torch, Jeannette, Isabella–Traditional
27. I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day–Words: Henry W. Longfellow; Music: Johnny Marks or John Baptiste Calkin
28. The Little Drummer Boy–Words and music: Katherine Davis, Henry Onorati, Harry Simeone
29. Baby, What You Goin’ To Be?–Words and music: Natalie Sleeth
30. Born is the Light of the World–Words and music: Sally DeFord
31. Cantigue de Noel (O Holy Night)–Words and music: Adolphe Adam
32. Gesu Bambino–Words: Frederick H. Martens; Music: Pietro A. Yon
33. Do You Hear What I Hear?–Words and music: Noel Regney and Gloria Shayne
34. A Virgin Unspotted–William Billings
35. In the Bleak Mid-Winter–Gustav Holst
36. The Cherry Tree Carol–English Traditional
37. The First Noel–English Traditional
38. Joy to the World–Words: Isaac Watts; Music: George F. Handel
39. Oh, Come All Ye Faithful–Words and music: Attr. to John F. Wade
40. Angels We Have Heard On High–French carol
41. It Came Upon the Midnight Clear–Words: Edmund H. Sears; Music: Richard S. Willis
42. Hark, the Herald Angels Sing–Words: Charles Wesley; Music: Felix Mendelssohn
43. With Wondering Awe–Words and music anonymous
44. Far, Far Away on Judea’s Plains–Words and music: John Menzies Macfarlane
45. The First Noel–Traditional English
46. The Messiah–George F. Handel
47: Come All Ye Shepherds–Bohemian
48. Unto Us Is Born a Son–Traditional
49. Coventry Carol–Traditional
50. Silent Night–Words: Joseph Mohr; Music: Franz Gruber

Okay, 50 is a good number to end with. That’s about all I have evidence of here at home in books, sheet music, CDs, tapes. There are undoubtedly more but this will suffice for this year.

If anyone else does see this and is still in the Christmas mood, feel free to add any favorites that I’ve missed!

I love Christmas music!

 

Not-so-favorite Christmas songs…

A little while ago, Holly and I were driving and we caught most of Michael Ballam’s program on Classical 89. We were hearing “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas.” He was asking why do we love this so much (or words to that effect.) Is it the melody, the harmony, the words? I said “no…no…no.”

I admitted that I really don’t like the song much. He went on playing other similar Christmas songs–the sentimental type, I guess is what I’d call them. “I’ll be Home for Christmas,” “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas.” Holly was curious about each one as to whether I liked them or not. Every time the answer was “No.”

I guess I’ve kept it a secret. They just don’t do anything for me. It’s not that I’m tired of them because they and I have been around so long. They just aren’t my type. Here’s a few more now that I’m confessing: “Chestnuts Roasting…,” “Silver Bells,” “Let it Snow”… Well, you probably get the idea. I don’t know exactly why but I just don’t get thrilled to hear them. You may not be surprised by now to hear that I’m not a Bing Crosby fan. Nope.

Okay, now here’s some choral Christmas songs that do thrill me. I don’t have an order for them, but here are a few: “Angels We Have Heard on High,” “Joy to the World,” “Good King Wenceslas,” “The Holly and the Ivy,” “I Saw Three Ships,” “Bring a Torch, Jeannette Isabella,” “In the Bleak Midwinter,” “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel,” “O Holy Night,” “We Three Kings of Orient Are,” “What Child is This?” …..

The list could go on and on. Christmas music is the best!!! As long as it’s not, you know, that one kind.

 

A boring post

I may just write in here tonight because I said I was going to write in here every day and even though I’ve already not done that is no reason not to do it now! (My sister noticed that I’d missed a couple days so she reminded me.)

I have a project I’m working on and I am always motivated by a project that has an end in sight. Having a due date is also motivating, especially when I’m not sure I’ll get it done in time. I think I’ve just got to get as much done as soon as I can because what if I run out of time?

The trouble is that I tend to neglect other things until I do get whatever big thing it is, out of the way. So I’ve been working on my 25+ little photo albums for Christmas to my family. In years past, I’ve sometimes even been finishing them on Christmas day. That is definitely not going to happen this time.

I feel I can take a breather tonight. I am in pretty good shape. All the ones that needed to be mailed are in the mail. That accounts for nine of them. So just 16 to go, but actually, I got all the other kid ones done which brings the number to only seven left to do. I did discover a mistake on one of my favorites on my own picture and I was trying to justify myself changing the picture to one I like better, so I found my justification. I don’t want to be calling the Twilight series, the Eclipse series like I did on my favorites list. So now I have another reason to change my picture. Yes! So I am in a hurry to get it down to the end in case I need to go get any more copies made of pictures, etc. So I can do it all at once and be done with it.

This has to be a boring post. Sorry. Oh well, I got more practice in. And got to take a break from the books.

 

When Daniel knew…he prayed

One of my favorite bible stories is about Daniel and the lion’s den. One part that I had not remembered was in Daniel 6:10–

Now when Daniel knew that the writing was signed, he went into his house; and his windows being open in his chamber toward Jerusalem, he kneeled upon his knees three times a day and prayed, and gave thanks before his God, as he did aforetime.

I would have prayed in secret. I sometimes hold back from being as religious as I would otherwise, just so as not to offend someone. No one is even threatening my life! I want to be more like Daniel!

I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. I need to show it. Like Daniel.